ON OUR KNEES

Last Friday, I went to prayer meeting at Calvary Church. I don’t know what to expect. People said it was getting from boring to more boring. But I went after my meeting anyway. It was not very crowded. Over the year, the attendance has gone down. This blog has been talking about prayer. I want to share what I felt last Friday.

Back of sanctuary was sectioned off because of few people around. When worship began, we sang songs I like, Be Magnified, O Lord, and Who Compares With You? These are great songs to sing because they focus on God. They reminded me of the words, “One day in the house of the Lord is better than a thousand days in the world”. It was so true. I was stirred. Then God asked me: “Why don’t you like coming to My prayer meeting?” The worship leader gave time for us to stand or kneel or lift our hands—do anything, but just face God and pray to Him. I just lifted my hands and asked God to fill me and forgive me. I was fed-up and discouraged...then we sang the song Be Magnified again. The verse says I have believed in a lie that God could not help me, and I had made Him too small. Too small to help me, too small to come into the bad situation of our church and do a wonderful thing. That was me. I did not want to come to prayer meeting because I was so discouraged by the things around. All the bad feelings. All the negative comments. Life group meeting is not about praying together and studying God’s Word but a gossip session about the deacons and pastors and all the stupid decisions they make...
Last Friday God spoke to me. He told me He has not skipped one prayer meeting since all this trouble started. He said boring worship leader or not boring one, He was still attending prayer meeting. When I looked around, I saw many empty seats. I thought of my friends. Just a few years ago, we all came to prayer meeting together. We even planned where to sit together after SCG. They are not here anymore. Some left the church. Some can’t be bothered to rush for prayer meeting after work.

When we prayed in groups of 3, we prayed for the Spirit to fill our hearts. I realized if God is not with us, we cannot do anything. We cannot even breathe. No need to think we can raise funds for CCC. Money is not the answer. We can have all the money we want, but our church will not be healed. But if God is with us, then we do not have to be anxious, afraid, or worried.
At the altar, a sister prayed for AGM. This AGM...I don’t know...I said to myself maybe I won’t come this time. It is not the ten hours or two hours. It is the attitude and the atmosphere. Last year EGM and AGM was so horrible. But the sister prayed, “God, our times are in Your hands”. He knows exactly what we are going through! It is a hard road, but God is with us. All through the meeting, I felt God so near to me. At the altar I realized that my life, my today, my tomorrow, everything is in His hands. He knows everything I am going through. He knows everything the church is going through. Why? Because He is the Lord. He is our God and Master.
The Lord rebuked me last Friday for my respond in the past to prayer meeting. It was the best rebuke I have got. From now on, I will attend prayer meeting. If I don’t it is for good reasons like I am outstation etc. I will remember that God is attending. It is my meeting place with Him. If worship leader is boring, I will pray for them instead of complaining and gossiping. (I am sorry I complained in the past)

We poured out our problems at the feet of God. From worship leader to groups to individuals and the altar. I felt we just poured all our tears and frustrations out to Him. I believe that He heard us. I believe that His heart is touched.

God also spoke another thing. When I look at the empty seats He said “Don’t worry. I just need a handful of faithful prayer warriors.” So we must encourage our friends to come for prayer meeting because it is good for them. But we don’t have to worry that God will not hear us if only a few of us pray. God is not interested in numbers. He is interested in hearts.

I am not writing to praise anyone or attack anyone. I don’t want to take this side or that side. All I know is Calvary Church is going through a not easy road. God wants us to take our tears to Him and pour our saddest feelings and sorrows to Him. From the way I read some of these articles here, I think God is saying something same to many of us. He wants to comfort and embrace us. He is calling this church to be down on our knees to pray to Him and seek His face.

“Down at Your feet O God is the Most High Place...” Praise the Lord! Amen.